I've begun here by posting some of my older "stories." The other day, I stumbled across one that I had completely forgotten writing (which chills me a little.) After much deliberation, here goes...
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light." Ephesians 5:8 (NKJ)
Please believe me when I say that I really, really don’t want to share this, an excerpt from my journal: "I’m afraid my heart is hardened. I am lost. I discern Your messages for me. I am excited by Your word. But I, myself, am helpless and hopeless. I can’t get things right. I know it’s because I don’t want to badly enough."
This entry was written sometime in the past several years, is undated, and is one of my "hidden," cryptic entries. I know that I was feeling it when I was writing it. But in hindsight, I see that it is full of lies.
Why am I sharing this? ... For my own protection and for yours. John 3:20 tells us, "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." (NIV) To boil it down, the darkness hates the light.
I’m stepping into the light.
For the majority of my adult life, I’ve believed that there’s an instability to my thought patterns that I must simply accept and with which I must learn to cope. In other words, "I’m crazy. I know it. I try not to show it." But, (while I may still think in "tilt") I’m just beginning to realize how many of us are being incapacitated by our thought lives.
We Are at war. The mind is the battlefield. And because the one offensive weapon noted in the armor of God is His word (Ephesians 6:13-17) , I will now use it to destroy the lie I’ve been telling myself.
Understand. I am not writing this in order to scold or criticize or to claim any sort of supreme authority about this matter. I’m writing it because I know, too painfully, the sorrow and desperation that comes with a darkened mind. My hope is to provide a light on a hill...to possibly light your way home.
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