Tap Out

I am finding fewer and fewer sound-seeming reasons for showing up, but it’s not for lack of looking, I promise.

It’s been a whole thing, this searching out, this attempting to reach the end of certain sentences.  Would that I could even start one of those here and now, but time ~ or lack of it ~ that’s a whole other thing.

So I’ll just tell you about the day that one of my favorite bloggers sinned in public.

See, she posted this video that was one of those horrible “you really shoulda known better” kind of things, set to music.  And she shared it with a note about how she'd watched it over and over again, and how she'd laughed so hard, and also how much she obviously needed Jesus because of it.  Folks, I made some time for that.  I watched it over and over again.  I laughed really hard.  I downloaded it.  Re-mastered it with better music.

Then I went back and started reading the comments on her post.

Folks, let me just say...

There were others like me (as I’m finding more and more to be true).  People who saw the humor.  People who needed a laugh.  A break, for durn sake.

But there were other people who tore this girl a new one.

“You are a Christian.”
“You are a leader.”
“You are a dignitary for Jesus.”₁

In other words, your a** had durn sure better never make a mistake, or laugh, or let loose for a second, or fail to live precisely the life that Jesus led or you will have failed in front of all of us to do what we durn sure knew you couldn’t do anyway.  Which is to be perfect.

Now please, for all of our sakes, don’t think that I think that lets the leaders off the hook - this knowing that none of us will ever be perfect.  The leaders have a high call and a greater responsibility to do like they oughta.  I know that painfully well as one who serves in various leadership roles with my church.  I regularly review my own actions, and, often enough, I have regret.  Often enough, I know that were I to have the kind of attention that some of my favorite bloggers do, maybe regret would be an understatement.

So ever since that day, since the day that girl put herself out there to such chagrin (if mine), I've been asking myself if the public arena is someplace I even want to be.  Yeah, no, I'm not even in the ring yet...

So as I said, it's been a whole thing, and the thing that comes to mind now is this:

"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:  “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”" Luke 18:9-14 (NIV)

Oh, God help me to be humble ~ at all times, in all situations, including those times that someone is calling me to a higher standard.  God, forgive me when I screw up and remind me to be merciful to others when they do the same, or worse, or even just meh.  God, thank you for getting me this far, for helping me to see as much as I do, and for all that I know you'll help me to eventually grasp.  Thank you, especially, that whatever I've done or will do tomorrow or the next day or the next, I don't have to hang my head in shame because I have Jesus.  I pray I never stand apart from that confidence.



1 Obviously, these are hardly new-one-tearing kinds of statements.  I'm totally summarizing the discussion that called her entire character into question.